Winter
by Aki-Chan04
Summary: What else was I going to do with my lunch break? It's Valentine's Day, and - surprise, surprise! - Relena is lonely. Her thoughts on Heero.


Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam; I don't own Heero or the Wing Zero and I definitely don't want to own Relena. ;O

"Winter" is Tori Amos's – I could never hope to come up with something so beautiful. Just stand in awe. 

AN: I hate Relena. Well, maybe not hate, but severely dislike. But somehow… I wrote this anyway. So. ::shrug::

# Winter

It's snowing outside. I can see it fall in brightly sparkling drifts; snowflakes blow past my window like a curtain of white lace shifting in the wind. 

Snow can wait

I forgot my mittens

Wipe my nose

Get my new boots on

I get a little warm in my heart

When I think of winter

I love winter. I wish I could go out and play, but I know it just wouldn't be the same. 

I'm waiting for him.

_It's Valentine's Day, you know_, I whisper to him in my head. _I wish you'd come visit me_. 

But I know he won't. He's probably on a mission. I picture the Wing Zero standing amidst a broken city, snow falling around it, piling at its feet and on its shoulders. It seems… strange, somehow, to think of such a machine of war surrounded by the beauty of winter like that. I shake my head lightly, trying to shake the image away. 

If he's not on a mission, then he doesn't care. He probably doesn't even know it's Valentine's Day, I reason, or possibly that such a thing exists. It's not for him. 

The only thing for him is war. I know that, only I wish it weren't true.

I run off where the drifts get deeper

Sleeping beauty trips me with a frown

I keep on running at him, I know. Running into that unfamiliar territory, those deep drifts of his mind, trying to get him to realize that he's human too. But he just looks down at me and tries to convince me with those icy blue eyes that his inner peace is not sleeping – it's just not there. 

I don't believe that. I can't believe that. He just never listens. I don't think he remembers how to listen like that. It breaks my heart to think that he just can't remember a thing like that – 

_You're like winter_, I tell him. _You're covered with ice, but someday it will melt. _

_Someday your heart will melt. _

I hope I'm right. 

But somehow, I think I am. I smile.

He's always there. He has this knack of showing up at just the right time to make me think… _maybe_. He looks out for me – I know that, but I don't know if he knows it himself. He's always there for me, standing tall over me, his shadow hiding me and keeping me safe from what he doesn't want me to know. 

I hear a voice:

"You must learn to stand up for yourself

'Cause I can't always be around"

"You should learn to look out for yourself," he tells me, each time he swoops in to save my life, flings himself into the fray at just the right moment. "I won't always be here to save you." 

I know that. And I honestly try to believe it. 

But somehow he's always there. 

I can see him now, getting ready for his mission. Tugging on his shoes, filling his gun clip. Oh, Heero, I wish you didn't need that gun. I wish you didn't need to fight like you do. 

When are you going to wake up, when are you going to see that you don't have to fight like this? 

When you gonna make up your mind?

When you gonna love you as much as I do?

_I love you, Heero. _

When will you see that? 

When you gonna make up your mind?

Cause things are gonna change so fast – 

All the white horses are still in bed;

I tell you that I'll always want you near

You say that things change my dear

I love you and that will never change – it will never fail me like you tell me it will. You can't believe me when I say that I want you here with me, but I do. 

I will. Always. 

_And I'll wait for you, Heero_, I tell him silently, looking out the window at this snow coating the world, making it into a new place just for me to look at. _I'll wait forever for you, even if you never come_. 

Years go by and I'm here still waiting

Withering where some snowman was

I have no other choice, I know. I can do nothing but stand here and wait, as winter melts, as summer comes, as winter comes again. 

You need to know that I'll be here waiting. So I will be. 

Mirror mirror where's the crystal palace

But I only can see myself

I look out the window, hoping it will show me the world. Instead, I only see myself, reflected in the sunlight glinting off the glass and the newly falling snow. 

Myself. Alone. 

_Heero, where are you?_

_I'll wait forever, Heero, but I wish I didn't have to._

_What are *you* waiting for?_

You say I wanted you to be proud of me

I always wanted that myself

Is it pride, Heero? I am proud of you – I'm proud of you for not breaking, for doing what you think is right. 

But it's time to stop, Heero. It's time to lay down your gun and realize that you don't need to be this way. 

_It's Valentine's Day, Heero. I wish you'd come visit me_. 


End file.
